I hate cleaning the bathroom. And actually, it’s not really cleaning the whole bathroom that bothers me; I’d scrub toilets and wipe sinks all the live-long day. Cleaning the tub is my most hated chore of all.
As is probably the case with most things, my loathing likely originates from trauma. Tub trauma, to be exact.
One morning shortly after David and I were married, I woke up and – like every morning ever – went to grab a shower. David was moments away from leaving the house when I turned the water on and waited for it to warm up. I probably stood there sleepily for a moment before I pulled the curtain and stepped one foot into the tub. Before I knew what was happening, I was careening head-first towards the back wall of the shower. I put my arms out to catch myself but my hands slipped on the now-slick surface and I crashed, driving my shoulder into the corner of the tub.
I heard the sickening crunch and knew that I had broken something.
You know how you hope nothing ever happens to you in the shower? Because the last thing you want is that nightmare scenario where someone finds you, naked and shivering, splayed in the tub as the water beats down on you?
It’s just as horrifying as you imagine.
I was sobbing by the time David had found a skewer stick and managed to get the bathroom door unlocked. At least it was him and not some random paramedics, or the coroner’s office – because I surely would have died of hypothermia once the hot water ran out.
Long story short: I broke my humerus – and it wasn’t funny.
Now when I clean the tub, I think about that day. Just like the Céline Dion song, leaning into the tub brings it all coming back to me. There are many, many things I would rather do than relive that.
Instead of cleaning the tub, I would rather:
1. Shovel the driveway.
2. Brave the risk of avalanche and reorganize all my food storage containers.
3. Go to the dentist.
4. Search the compost for my son’s dental appliance.
5. Clean out the fridge.
6. Do 10 loads of laundry.
7. Eat chocolate.
Alright, the last one wasn’t fair – because I’d rather eat chocolate than do most anything. Wouldn’t we all?
So that is why, though my sinks and toilets are scrubbed to a shine, the tub gets a few minutes soak from a spray bathroom cleaner, a sprinkle with the detachable shower head and – as my mom always says – a lick and a promise. Except if you are coming to stay, and then I will swallow my fear and scrub that ring around the tub til it sparkles.
Or we could just eat chocolate.
What is your most hated chore?
Linking up with Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop
This post is inspired by prompt #3:
List 7 things you would rather do than clean your bathroom