Last week, Co-Pilot Dad made plans to go see The Hobbit with a friend. When Captain Alpha heard about the outing, he immediately asked if he could go, too.
“Not this time, bud,” my husband told him. “That movie isn’t really for kids your age.”
“But all my friends have seen it!” he protested.
“Really?” I asked.
He insisted it was true.
He complained a bit about how he is always the last one to see things, that he never gets to see what everyone is talking about.
What it all comes down to is that I am the last mom to let go and let her child watch violent movies.
As I type this, I am thinking ’Whoa – helicopter mom, much?’ And I am sure there are many people who will think that.
Because I know that there are many parents that are OK with their children watching super hero movies and the Star Wars saga and the LOTR series. I am not going to judge them for their choices.
Because they know their children; just as I know mine.
I think it is important to know your child and what type of entertainment they are ready to watch. Captain Alpha? He is a sensitive, empathetic boy. He doesn’t like violence. An animated Pokémon battle is about the extent of his violence comfort level.
When he was 6, he came home talking about Star Wars. All his friends had seen Star Wars. Could he watch Star Wars?
I wasn’t sure; but my husband thought it was OK. He had seen Star Wars at that age and he was fine with it. So we watched the original Star Wars one Saturday night. (Well, we started to watch it.)
I was hoping that some of the more mature themes would go over his head.
They didn’t. He was fully aware of Luke’s aunt and uncle’s fates and proclaimed, “This movie is breaking my heart!” By the time we got to the scene with confrontation in the cantina, he was sitting in my lap and asking us to turn it off.
So we did.
I know that he would be uncomfortable with extended battle scenes and violent images – especially in a movie theatre where the darkness and size of the screen make the experience much more immersive.
The difficulty comes when he wants to see the latest ‘big kid’ movie that everyone is talking about on the playground. Then the call is mine; I don’t think he is ready.
So I guess that makes me the hold-out.
Maybe I am holding him back. Maybe I am too protective - I admit that it is possible.
It still doesn’t change my mind. There will be lots of time for him to catch up on these cinematic wonders. There are so many things that I can’t wait to share with him – when he’s ready.
So I’ll be last – I’d much rather he read the book first, anyway.
Linking up with Pour Your Heart Out with Things I Can’t Say today
I 100% believe that no one knows our kids better than we do I am a hold out on a lot of things and for the right reasons – for my kids – and I also let them do other things that other parents balk at. Right for me. good job, mama.
Ilene recently posted..It’s Complicated
Thank you! I think it’s true that everyone as different comfort zones as parents, and as people. I guess I am just trying to respect my little guy’s comfort zone with entertainment – I don’t want to upset him unnecessarily.
Mama knows best! Each kid is different, and realizing he doesn’t have to go with the crowd/majority is a good lesson in itself. Good luck holding out!
Thanks! That is true – it is good to learn that he doesn’t have to be like everyone else.
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My 7 year old has seen a few movies at the theater, starting at age 4. My 5 year old has not. I’m sure he wouldn’t do well at a movie theater no matter what the movie was. Each child is different.
Yes, they are, aren’t they? My oldest has seen movies in the theatre – but they were more family/younger- child-friendly films. Lighter plots and minimal violence, that sort of thing. My youngest has been to one – but doesn’t yet enjoy watching a whole movie. He likes to come and go – so it’s better to have movie night at home with him.
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I am a firm believer in knowing your own child’s limits, and I don’t think that makes you a helicopter parent at all. I think it makes you a caring mom.
Thanks!
I was thinking that I was possibly veering into the ‘helicopter’ territory. I just think that a situation like that – a movie with mature themes and action in a dark theatre – might be a bit overwhelming. Best take smaller steps into that new era of entertainment, I think.
I have a sensitive little guy too. He FEELS so much. He gets so anxious watching certain things. I completely understand. And you’re so right. Every mama knows her child best. xoxo
That’s it exactly, Sarah. It’s like he empathizes with the story and characters so much, that he gets uncomfortable. I think he just needs to take little steps into the ‘big kid movie’ genre.
Everyone has to make the decision they think best for their own child, knowing their own kids, not worrying about what others are doing.
I think so, too. I’ve got to go with my gut on this one.
You know your boy, better than he knows himself at this point. This is one of those trust-your-gut moments of parenting and he is lucky to have a mama who knows how to do that.
Tricia recently posted..Preschool revenge
I try; it is definitely one of those situations where I am going with my gut. Every child is different; and there’s no rush – the movies will still be there when he is ready for them.
I think you’re absolutely right. It’s your kid, you know him best, it’s your call. I think the fact that you’re self reflecting on your decision is indicative of the fact that it isn’t an overprotective snap judgment on your part.
Larks (@LarksNotesThis) recently posted..Existential malaise: I has it.
Thanks. I do reflect on it, because I want to do what is best – whether it is giving him a little nudge forward or protecting him a bit from something for which he is not quite ready. It’s a tough call sometimes.
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Oh, I get this. I do.
I’m usually a holdout, too. But it gets tricky as they get older, doesn’t it?
{Absolutely love this topic!}
Galit Breen recently posted..Sitting, and Reading
It really does get trickier; I am finding myself questioning this a lot.
I want him to hear and see stories and share experiences with his friends, but at the same time I don’t want him to be disturbed by images or themes that may be too mature for him at this point. It’s a toughie.
You are NOT holding him back. Or helicopter-ing (is that a word?). You just know him. End o’ story.
Sue recently posted..Coming Out of the Closet
Thank you, Sue! (By the way, I definitely think it’s a word.)
I believe you do the right thing for your son. Who can judge us when we definitely know our children better? If we are the holdout, so be it. Nobody could be wiser than a mom who’d give everything to keep her children safe and sane.
CreditDonkey recently posted..Women in Business: Female Entrepreneurs Gaining Speed
Thank you; I do try to look at the situation objectively and decide what is best for him.
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I don’t think you’re holding back. What may be right for the other kids might not be right for your child and you have the right to make those decisions.
BTW, I’m hosting a cute Valentine’s day giveaway on my blog.Please visit and pass the word around.
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Thank you; I agree, every child, every family is different.