Yep. Slow roasted polyethelene.
Mmm mmm!!
I just know that your mouth set to watering when you read that title. Your fingers are poised to ‘Pin’ the deliciousness.
I don’t know about you, but the mention of the word polyethelene has me saying, “Yummy!” Every. Single. Time.
(Not really.)
Here is how you, too, can make a slow roasted, spice-rubbed polyethelene that is sure to repulse delight:
First, you take a nice rack of one of your family’s favourite meats – I used back ribs – out of the freezer to defrost in the fridge.
Later, preheat the oven and prepare meat.
This step is key: Remove packaging and slide meat into roasting pan without touching it or looking at it too carefully.
Apply blend of delightful spices and seasonings. Add a little water to the pan and bake, covered at 350 for 45 minutes. Then reduce oven temp to 225 and continue cooking for 2 hours more.
Then, just when you are feeling so proud of yourself for achieving this divine-smelling-culinary coup, remove it from the oven to check on it.
Notice something white sticking out from under the meat. What is that?
It is slow roasted polyethelene.
Yes. I slow cooked the absorbent meat pad that was under the meat for hours.
But, I thought, it might still be OK.
So I did what anyone would do: Hello Google, my old friend…
Apparently it is a pretty common recipe, because there were a lot of questions about it. A lot of people said “Meh, go ahead eat it anyway.”
Then I read that if the plastic looks like it has deteriorated in any way, not to eat it.
This is what the pad looked like:
Ugh.
Would you say that it had deteriorated somewhat?
We were not eating that.
“What’s for supper, Mommy?”
“Slow roasted polyethelene with fluff pulp.”
“Yay!”
And the ribs? They looked so good.
Thinking about what could’ve been…
But polyethelene is not my idea of supper.
So we had pasta. Which was a bit of a letdown after the anticipation of ribs – but at least it wasn’t polyethelene with fluff pulp.
oh man! I dislike the wasted dinner! all that work and effort and…but I love your sense of humor
Sarah @sundayspill recently posted..#ippp: put yourself in the photo. you are interesting enough already.
I do not like wasting dinner, either. It was pretty disappointing.
But I’ve just got to laugh, right? I couldn’t believe I did that.
Bwahahahahaha!! I’d laugh longer, but I’ve done it before myself. No lie!
Fortunately for me, whatever I cooked didn’t look as good as your ribs so it was easier to throw out. They looked SO GOOD. I would have cried to make something that looked so good but not be able to eat it.
Love the scary font on the Roasted Polyethylene photo. Perfection!
The Dose of Reality recently posted..Never Let Anyone Steal Your Sparkle
Thank you for letting me know I am not alone! I couldn’t believe I had done that. But once I saw the pad, the ribs became very unappetizing, despite their appearance.
Hahahaha! I love it. I’ve almost done that SO many times. At least we can laugh at ourselves, right? If it’s any consolation, the ribs look amazing.
Christine @ Chew Nibble Nosh recently posted..Crispy Tilapia with Tomatoes and Leeks
I thought they looked good, too. I was so proud of myself until I saw that little white pad sticking out. Wish I had gotten to try them!
I cooked a googly eye that stuck to the bottom of a cookie sheet the other day. Perhaps we shouldn’t craft right before dinner?
denise recently posted..Turn That Boring Snow Into a Chilly Treat
Oh, dear! Did the googly eye melt? That is something that would happen to me.
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Oh no!! This is exactly the sort of thing that happens to me when I try to cook. But your ribs really did look good.
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Every once in a while something like this happens to me when I cook – just so that I don’t go and get over confident, I guess.
Oh man. I’ve totally done that! I think it’s more common that I knew. I also was making boxed mac and cheese once and when I was pouring in the gross cheese powder, I dropped the whole bag packet in, paper included. I’ve done that a few times, actually.
Tamara recently posted..Let It Grow.
I can see how that would happen. I drop can lids into pots sometimes, too. I don’t know whether I am clumsy or not paying enough attention or both.
I could totally see myself doing this – we’re always in such a rush, aren’t we? And the ribs look so good too…
Katie E recently posted..Brinky’s First Snow
I think that’s it, Katie. I was trying to get them in because I really like them slow-cooked and it was getting on in the afternoon. I guess I just wasn’t paying attention or looking for the meat pad – I didn’t even give it a thought.
I did that once while making a roast in the slow cooker. I think I noticed it after an hour and it was intact so I just fished it out. We’re all alive to tell the tale…
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..It’s Not Fair
There were a lot of answers that I encountered online that said people had gone ahead and eaten it and all was fine. But when I saw the state of the meat pad after all that time at the bottom of the roaster, I knew we couldn’t eat it.
Ah! Reminds me of the one year I forgot to take the giblets out of the turkey! Funny how we all do that. Your ribs do look good – you may be on to something!
Raquel @ Organized Island recently posted..Easy Baked Salmon
I am going to try the same thing one of these days, minus the meat pad! I thought they looked really good!
Hi Kim,
I’ve yet to do this but I’ve had a lot of nearly’s in my haste. Hope you all enjoyed the plan b dinner.
My first thought was all that effort what a shame but I think you made the right decision
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Gillian Stephen (@Gillian_Stephen) recently posted..Fitness Friday 6
Hi Gillian! Thanks, I think I made the right decision, too. Once I saw the state of the meat pad, I knew we couldn’t eat them. (I still can’t believe I did it, though!)
I make a grilled cheese sandwich and left the paper that comes between the two pieces of cheese.
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Booking Across the U.S.A. – South Carolina
I can totally see myself doing that!
What makes it even worse was that it was RIBS. Ribs should never have to be tossed!
Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..Win a Sweet Scraptopus: An Under the Nile Giveaway!
I feel exactly the same way – that was the worst part!
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I am laughing because I can so see myself doing that. One Christmas I was going to a cookie swap and forgot the eggs in my first batch of cookies, and sugar in the second! I was so frustrated my husband took pity on me and made my cookies. Needless to say, I don’t go to cookie swaps anymore.
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I am famous for things like that! Once when I was making cupcakes I dropped egg shells in my cake batter and couldn’t find them. I could serve egg shells to someone, so I had to make a new batter.
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I would cry!! Actually I *have* cried, because I have done that exact same thing. So disappointing when you’ve been looking forward to something all day.
Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted..5 Things That Would Make Me Happy Right Now
Exactly! It is so disappointing when you smell it cooking and are looking forward to suppertime. *sigh* I will know next time, though!