I have a new blog reader.
When I see a comment from someone who has never commented here before, I always smile. It is a nice feeling to “meet” and connect with someone new.
My newest blog reader didn’t post a comment here or on Facebook; I knew he was reading because he told me himself. In person. Shortly after I tucked him in bed the other night.
Yep. Captain Alpha has read my blog.
I knew that one day he would; it was only a matter of time, right?
Of course, he has known about my blog for a long time. The boys started to notice that Co-Pilot Mom was open in my browser a lot. Then they noticed that my photo was on the page. Every so often, they asked me a few questions about what I was doing. But other than that, they had no interest in what I write here.
They are children of a blogger, though. When I take pictures, they ask if I am going to post it on the blog or Instagram or Facebook. They scout for free Wi-Fi everywhere we go. They know that supper timing may depend on whether I get the perfect image of whatever it is we are eating, just in case I want to blog about it.
I have involved Captain Alpha in my process a little more, though. At 9-going-on-10, he is becoming interested in social media and the web. He does his own online research for school and seems eager to take those first steps into this new world. When I write about him now, I ask his permission to share it here and I get his approval on photos I post. He is going to create his own online presence one day (sooner than I can imagine) and I want to start preparing him now.
“I am reading your blog,” he told me one night.
He had come out of his room to get a drink of water before bed. It was probably a trap, but I fell for it anyway.
“Is that OK?” he asked. “It is interesting.”
He said he liked reading stories about himself and seeing the pictures of us.
David turned to me. “Is there anything that he shouldn’t see on there?” he asked quietly.
“Not really,” I replied.
I have thought about this day since I started my blog two years ago. One day my children would find my blog; one day they would read it. I knew they would want to read the stories and see the photos I share of them. One day they might even want to know about me and the thoughts I had as their mom.
I thought that day might not come for a while yet, though. Truthfully, I would have thought that most things here would be boring for him – I don’t really write with tweens in mind. But he listed the names of the posts he had read. He gave me his impressions and shared his own memories.
I wasn’t sure how I felt at first. This space is open for anyone to read, but in some ways it is an odd feeling when someone I know – who knows me “in real life” – reads it.
I don’t know why that is. The stories I share are ones that I would share with them anyway.
Maybe it is because I feel pressure to tell our stories well, to represent my family, and to show respect for their stories as they weave together with my own.
I want my boys to know me – the Co-Pilot Mom on my blog and the Mom they see every day. I want them to see where they mesh, and hear my voice in their heads when they read my words.
I want them to know I rediscovered my love of writing by starting this blog and sharing stories about the love and joy I find in motherhood. And I want them to only be embarrassed on my behalf when I reveal my bobbles and wobbles when I inevitably drop the balls I juggle.
I hope that my newest blog reader – and his younger brother – will still enjoy looking back on these stories in the years to come. I hope they give them a better sense of who I am, and who we are as a family. I hope they know how much they inspire me.
Do you have a blog? Do your children know about it? Do they read it?