Mr. Nice Guy gets a raw deal.
According to myth, Mr. Nice Guy always finishes last, gets pushed around, and stays single. Mr. Nice Guy is called boring, stuck up, and a loser. (Probably because of that always-finishing-last-thing.) He never gets to ride of into the sunset because he has been friend-zoned.
Mr. Nice Guy’s already-fragile rep tarnished even more by Mr. Posing-As Mr. Nice Guy. Mr. Posing-As Mr. Nice Guy is really a dirtbag and only seeks to further his own agenda by imitating Mr. Nice Guy’s do-the-right-thing persona. Mr. Posing-As Mr. Nice Guy lies in wait until, after having gained everyone’s trust, he reveals his true nature.
That doesn’t mean Mr. Nice Guy is a pushover. He knows what’s up, even if he wants to give others the benefit of the doubt. Eventually he will clue in if there is something duplicitous going on. He might have to get hit over the head with it, though. He wants to believe the best in everyone, even if it means he learns some big lessons along the way.
Nice doesn’t equal stupid. Nice doesn’t equal doormat. Nice doesn’t need to call people out or bring people down to feel better about themselves.
Nice thinks of others first. Nice gives of themselves and wants to see others succeed. Nice wants to help. Nice doesn’t want to hurt, or take advantage.
Nice isn’t boring. Nice is dependable. Nice has got your back.
We need more NICE, you guys. Mr. Nice Guy seems like an endangered species. If not endangered, he needs better press. We are obsessed with appearance and under-value substance. Look no further than the evening news or the trending topics on Twitter: nice is not news.
And yet, we are STARVING for Mr. Nice Guy. It’s why women adore pictures of men with babies. It’s why we put fathers on a pedestal for things that should be a given – like, you know, PARENTING THEIR CHILDREN. That ish gets gobbled up and shared billions of times because we are searching for representation for the stand up men in our lives – our sons, husbands and fathers. Or maybe because we wish there were a few more of them.
I married a Mr. Nice Guy.
Mine cooks on weekends and helps fold the laundry. He runs the boys to their extra curriculars and stops for milk on the way home. He knows when to bring home chocolate based on the tone of my texts during the day. He puts me first, he hears me out. He is there when I need a shoulder, or a (metaphorical) kick in the butt.
But he is also Mr. Looks Out for His Family. He chased down a theatre employee that nearly knocked me off my feet – without so much as a glance over his shoulder – and made him apologize. Don’t cross him when it comes to those he cares about.
I want to raise my sons to be Mr. Nice Guys – THE REAL DEAL, not posers. I want them to be good people. Not doormats – just honest, stand-up-and-do-the-right-thing, sit-beside-you-without-having-to-say-a-thing – NICE GUYS.
Sure, some people will probably take advantage of their kindness. But I would rather they get caught being too generous with their time and their hearts, than to be closed and hardened to the world.
Enough with the tough guys and party boys and big shots. We see greedy SOBs and out-for-number-ones every day. There will always be bad boys – who have that dangerous allure – to draw those unwitting souls in.
Mr. Nice Guy needs a comeback and better PR. I’m trying to do my part.
Let’s bring nice back.
Let’s hear it for Mr. Nice Guys! Do you know one? Show him some love and give him a shout out.