Going Forward, Backwards

“Are you comfortable like that? Or do you want to change it?”

From the beginning, he always said he was comfortable; he didn’t want to change.

A few months ago, I wrote about how Captain Bravo would surprise me by sneaking away to get dressed in the clothes I laid out every morning. As so often happens on those first attempts at independence, he would often put his shirt on backwards.

I am his mom/first teacher/co-pilot, so I felt it was my responsibility to point out that it was backwards – but he was unconcerned.

So most of the time, we left it that way. Even if we left the house.

Over the past few months, his backwards shirts have become less a choice of convenience and more of a personal expression. If you visit me here or on social media, no doubt you have seen photos of Captain Bravo’s backwards days.  We have many. In fact, I would venture to say that they are frequent. So much so that family and friends now think nothing of seeing him in backwards clothes.

ForwardBackwards2 Going Forward, Backwards

He said he wanted to see the number.

I still point it out as he gets dressed.

“That’s backwards, you know. See the tag?”

“But Mom, I love it backwards.”

Who am I to argue?

Didn’t I scour the hair colour boxes at the pharmacy, searching for that perfect red – cherry, not auburn? Didn’t I search the racks for the shiniest, most-shoulder-sweeping earrings I could find? Wasn’t it me that tied the tongues of my Converse sneakers down and wore neon and clinking bracelets up to my elbow?

Check, check and check. I did.

My clothes were not worn that way, but wasn’t I backwards-by-choice sometimes?  Aren’t I still?

The other day, I overheard Captain Alpha talking to Bravo as he got dressed.

“It looks kind of silly that way. I’ll help you,” Alpha told him.

Shortly after, Bravo came bounding out of the bedroom sporting his forward-facing shirt.

I wondered if this would be the beginning of the end of Backwards Days. A word from big brother is so very influential. Captain Alpha is cool, and a worldly know-er of many things. Would his opinion discourage Captain Bravo’s backwards phase?

I got my answer the next day. We decided on his clothes and he began to get dressed. His head appeared through the opening in his shirt and he looked at me.

“Do I have it on backwards?”

He pulled the shirt away from his neck and saw the writing on the fabric at the same time that I did.

He smiled as he put his arms through the arm holes and smoothed it down.

“I love it backwards, Mom.”

Backwards Days have lasted longer than I thought they would. Even when they go, I hope the spirit of them lives on. I wish for a sureness and a confidence in himself to express who he is.

I want him to feel comfortable, so that he doesn’t want to change.

And for now at least, we will go forward – being backwards.

ForwardBackwards Going Forward, Backwards

 How do you your children express themselves? How do *you*?

 

MemoriesCaptured1 Going Forward, Backwards

Linking up with Alison from Writing, Wishing and Galit from These Little Waves for Memories Captured

About Kim Steele

Kim is an early childhood educator turned stay at home mom who lives in Nova Scotia, Canada with her husband. Together they are co-piloting two young Captains, Alpha and Bravo. She writes about the funny and the sentimental of everyday life with her boys. Kim is fond of Jane Austen and science fiction and can often be found singing in the car - although she has been known to stop for coffee or chocolate. Connect with Kim on Twitter and Facebook.

Comments Make Me Geek Out

  1. Just found you through the Memories Captured Link-up. Love this story about your little boy. He sounds like quite a character! Love his independence and spirit!
    Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted..Help End Child HungerMy Profile

  2. Oh, I love it. My daughter has a very unique style which I’m sure you’ve seen on my blog. Sometimes I like to joke about her crazy outfits and say, “Oh she dressed herself” or “Oh, her father dressed her today.” The other day she was wearing a bright H&M rainbow dress over a pink t-shirt and purple and white striped pants. Rainbow socks and pink sparkly shoes completed the outfit. At preschool dropoff another mom said, “So, who dressed her today? Her father? Herself?” And I looked and realized..it was me ..so I proudly said, “Oh that one’s all me! She actually let me take the reins for once.” And you certainly couldn’t tell the difference! Does anyone in my family match?
    Tamara recently posted..Break It Down Again.My Profile

  3. I. Love. This. My daughter has a wonderfully mismatched style, and loves to wear tutus with ratty Ts, polka dots with stripes, you name it. I will mourn when these days disappear.
    Amber recently posted..Train Rides at the Mall: Why, Universe, Why?My Profile

  4. You are such a fantastic mama! My girl has a style too (we’ve had leg warmers in July and, most recently, a cat tail to school one morning). I love that you let him go backwards. I love little ones expressing themselves!
    Tricia recently posted..One of those memoriesMy Profile

  5. This post warm my heart.
    He looks so adorable, backwards shirts or not.
    You are an amazing mom for allowing your boys to be themselves :)
    Maureen@ScoopsofJoy recently posted..I Am Not FineMy Profile

    • Thank you, Maureen!
      I like for him to be able to express himself and it really is such a little thing. I am pretty sure most people that see him know he dressed himself! :)

  6. I love his style, his individuality – it’s a glimpse into who he will grow up to be.
    You have a great kid, Kim! Thank you for linking up with us.
    Alison recently posted..Memories Captured: We’re Back!My Profile

    • Thank you, Alison – I think he is a pretty great little guy!
      So happy that Memories Captured is back this month; I love linking up with you and Galit!

  7. I love this and I love how you’re cool with backwards and embrace backwards the way most people don’t. My son dressed backwards too. And I also loved his independence and self expression the way you do.
    Ilene recently posted..If OnlyMy Profile

    • How awesome that you had a backwards-dressing boy, too! I will miss these days when they are gone. It has been great seeing his self-expression.

  8. I’m loving this. Who cares how he wears his shirts or his shoes or socks or whatever. As long as he is happy, that’s all that matters!!
    Krystal recently posted..Reality hitsMy Profile

  9. I never took much risk with my own appearance, even though there were times I wanted to. Fear stood in my way sometimes of feeling like I could fully express myself. I love that you allow your son to express himself and be who he is! I hope to enable my future children to do the same.
    Bev recently posted..Right Before My Very EyesMy Profile

    • It makes him happy to be backwards right now. It is a little thing for me that means a lot to him. I am pretty sure anyone that may see us will know that he dressed himself. :)

  10. This tickled me so and reminds me of my youngest. He wears this shirts backwards occasionally and when he was younger, he often wore his shoes on the wrong feet. Who knows? But I think he liked the way it felt. Cheers to individualism. Long may it reign.
    jamie@southmainmuse recently posted..Why was I holding a spoon? And other ways to unwind.My Profile

  11. I love so much that he is confident about his choice, even after help from his older brother. That is a wonderful trait to have.
    Tracie recently posted..My Own Little BelleMy Profile

  12. How did I miss this post?! So cute! I love that he is making a statement about his individuality! My boys put stuff on backwards all the time, but it’s not by choice or making a statement, it’s because they simply don’t pay attention and don’t care. I can’t really say anything though…I’ve done it too…and once I went out in public like that!
    Michelle recently posted..Decorate Your Home with Photos! {WeMontage Photo Wallpaper Giveaway}My Profile

    • I think when it started, he was just happy to put it on and wasn’t bothered that it was backwards. Now his backwards days seem to be a conscious choice. :)

  13. What a great memoir — with a fabulous lesson about being comfortable in our own skin/shirt. I used to worry that Thing Two would always only listen to what his older brother said, but have learned that he’s strong enough in his own little personality to hold true to the things he wants to regardless of whether his brother approves.
    Kimberly recently posted..Memories Captured: Teenage editionMy Profile

    • I am beginning to think the same of my youngest. He was willing to go along with big brother, but when he had the choice the next time, he chose backwards. :)

  14. Okay, this made me tear up. I love that he knows what he wants…and I love that you let him express himself . It’s beautiful to see. :) You are an AWESOME co-pilot. –Lisa
    The Dose of Reality recently posted..The Dose Girls Do It Old SchoolMy Profile

  15. He’s so cute! When the kids were little I was totally okay with them being dirty, mussed up, whatever. I didn’t really care that much because I knew that I had bathed them and the clothes were clean when I put them on. It drove my mother crazy! She likes everything just so. Now that I have grandkids when they come over I still don’t care if they are dirty, mussed up, whatever and it still drives my mom crazy that they are that way.

    P.S. My 3 yo granddaughter decided underpants were totally unnecessary this past weekend. I guess she’ll be going commando for awhile.
    Carlil recently posted..The 10 Signs of a Girlie RunnerMy Profile

    • I am the same. I know they are clean, their clothes are clean (yet worn backwards at times) and I am OK with them getting messy sometimes. All part of the fun of being a child!

  16. I really love this Kim and I really love how he’s expressing his personality. I too don’t want to stifle my kids’ individuality and their unique sense of themselves. And it’s amazing what a word from a big brother can do. So lovely Kim!
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..The Brighter Side with FriendsMy Profile

  17. Oh I love this post from Co-Pilot Mom! How do you let your kids express themselves?

  18. This post is awesome! A.W.E.S.O.M.E.-Awesome! I laughed out loud at that last picture. I think it’s so sweet that you’re just going with it. It’s inspiring.
    Adrienne recently posted..Memories CapturedMy Profile

    • Thank you so much, Adrienne! Even though I see him do it all the time, I have to admit that I chuckled that day in the park – and then later when I looked back on the photos – as he sported his backwards shirt. I like that he wants to try something different. :)

  19. This is great! I have three daughters who each have a very individual sense of style. My oldes is currently in a phase of wearing anything and everything that is turquoise, neon green, or neon orange. My middle cares nothing about clothes and consistently looks disheveled. The youngest is my girlie girl – nothing but dresses for her. I learned a long time ago that, even though parts of their style drive me nuts, it just isn’t worth the fight and like seeing their individuality come through!
    Lisa @ The Golden Spoons recently posted..Mornings – Bah Humbug!My Profile

    • Isn’t it amazing how we all find what is comfortable for us? It makes my little guy happy to express himself this way for now, so I am just going to go with it. :)
      Thank you so much for stopping by!

  20. {Melinda} I love it! What a good mom you are for just letting him be him. I shudder to think how many times I have encouraged my kids to be “normal” when they were younger. Now — unless it’s hurting someone else or themselves in some way — I bite my tongue and just let them express themselves. :)

    Pinning this post!
    Mothering From Scratch recently posted..The Non-Negotiables of Mommy Self-CareMy Profile

    • Thank you, Melinda! (For the kind words and the Pin!)
      For now, it makes my little guy happy to express himself this way, so I am just going with it. And hopefully, everyone will know that he dressed himself. :)

  21. Awwww…..this is so frigging cute. I don’t know that there’s anything cuter!
    Mariann recently posted..Married With ChildrenMy Profile

Trackbacks

  1. […] Shortly after I wrote the last post, Backwards Days stopped at our house. Suddenly, when I pointed out that his shirt was backwards, he wanted to switch it; it wasn’t comfortable anymore. […]