When Captain Alpha was born, I visited thrift stores, looking for gently used children’s clothing. I remember searching though the piles of fabric, waiting for something to catch my eye. I found a white long-sleeved diaper shirt with basketball players on it and looked at the size. 24 months.
‘I’ll get it,’ I thought at the time, as I placed it in the basket. ‘Even though it will never fit him.’
That shirt? It’s much too small for Bravo, now.
Scary
The other night, he shook a pair of pants out, and prepared to put them on. It was after supper and he and his dad were rushing to get to martial arts class on time.
“I think you have the wrong pants, honey,” I told him.“I think those are your dad’s gi pants.”
He looked at me quizzically and held them up to his waist. The pant legs hung just to his ankles.
They were huge. I could have sworn that they were too big for him.
Another day, another basket (or four) of laundry to fold. I folded, sorted and stacked each person’s clothes so that they were ready for transport to closets and dressers. Parents, Alpha, Bravo; three piles for three rooms.
‘Wait,’ I thought.
I pause and looked at my piles more carefully. I had gotten mixed up. That’s not Alpha’s shirt; Bravo wears that now.
I can close my eyes and picture him in that shirt, like a glossy photograph, frozen in my mind. Wasn’t it just yesterday that Alpha was wearing that?
No – it was 5 years ago.
I am visited by ghosts. They wait on the edge of my mind, just out of sight. Some bring visions from the past, some bring glimpses of the future. They have me pack big clothes away with thoughts of certainty; ‘it will be ages before he can wear that.’ Then they come again and make the clothes shrink. They make me mix up my piles. But just like old Ebenezer, I cannot stop the ghosts from coming – for the ghosts are time itself.
It’s only time; it’s not really a ghost. But I am haunted, all the same.
Where has it gone? Where is it going? Why is it here for a moment and then gone before my eyes have time to adjust?
Time’s ghosts visit and tweak a memory. And stir a lump in my throat.
But sadly, they never do a load of laundry while they are here.
Linking up with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop today
Prompt #3 – Tell us about something that is haunting you.
I’m right there with you. It is SO WEIRD to pull out the 18 month, 24 month, 2T stuff for Oscar that my firstborn wore oh, 5 YEARS PRIOR. Talk about your mind doing funny things. When I see certain clothes on Oscar I get flashbacks of Leo and Gus and all kinds of different images for where we were and what we were doing at the time the they wore those clothes. And come spring, the ghosts will come out in full force when I switch everyone’s closets out–pass down the clothing, sort, sift. All that jazz.
Sarah @sundayspill recently posted..the sunday spill–about nodding yes and being matched up
Yes! When I pull Alpha’s clothes out of storage for Bravo, they bring back all sorts of ‘I remember when…’ memories. It always gets me sentimental.
So true, Kim. Especially the last line. Sigh. And tee-hee!
Sue recently posted..When the Kidz Stop Screaming
It would be nice, wouldn’t it? One can dream, after all.
We’re contemplating having another baby and sometimes I think, wasn’t I pregnant five minutes ago? Why does time have to speed up as we get older?
Suzanne recently posted..From Strain Theory to Strained Peas
I really find that it does, too, Suzanne. I always say that I am searching for that pause button.
Laundry laundry…it haunts me too. And the ticking of the clock keeps going, stealing my memories and moments. I’m getting really bad at keeping track of time now too. Beautiful.
Time has a way of slipping away on us, doesn’t it? That clock keeps ticking; I find that I turn around and they have grown again.
Thank you so much for visiting today!
I can so identity with this. I have two boys 10 years apart. It’s unbelievable that I get memories of things done with them and by mixed up. Time flies so quickly. In so many ways, I feel like my 19 year old should still be 9.
Jamie@SouthMainMuse recently posted..A Photo is Worth 3,650 days.
I know exactly what you mean, Jamie; it seems to go by in the blink of an eye.
YES! Just the other day I was folding clothes and I thought my son’s shirt couldn’t be his and had to be my husbands…but it does belong to my son. He is now taller than me and wears bigger shoes than I do but I always seem to forget that. WHAT IS HAPPENING??!!!
The Dose of Reality recently posted..I Will Cut You If You Bother Me While HotSean! Is On T.V.
I know! The clothes bring it all in focus. The passing of time, the growing up – it’s right in front of me when I fold the clothes every day.
I really enjoyed this post, especially how you chose to do the “haunting” theme.
My oldest is 19, youngest is 5, it truly does go by way too fast.
Vodka Calling recently posted..Top 10 Faves of 2012 (but not really)
Thank you. It does go so fast. I had always heard people say that; and I have come to realize that it really is true.
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Love the Faulkner quote. I went through this so many years ago. Mine are all grown up now. 31, 28, 26. Where does the time go?
Vicki M. Taylor recently posted..Staying Focused – Through the Good TImes and Not so Good
I wish I knew where times goes, too. It does seem to pass too quickly sometimes, doesn’t it?