Oh, hey. Is this thing still on? It’s me; the one who used to do the blogging thing here.
I’ve been thinking about this place a lot. After all, I’ve been here for 5 years (whaaat??) and it has been a big part of my life. I miss it.
When I started blogging, I wrote mostly about my kids – fun things we did, cute things they said – because those were the things that inspired me most. I still love writing about parenting, because nothing in my life has ever challenged me more – or made me grow in every possible way. (Not that I am blaming my current pants size on motherhood. Not completely, anyway.)
The thing is…
I don’t think I should write about my kids anymore.
I knew this day would come. I didn’t expect it so soon; in truth, it snuck up on me.
It comes down to this: Alpha is almost a teenager (like, 3 months away from 13 – HOLD ME,) and Bravo is a private person. Neither like to draw attention to themselves; they don’t especially like for me to tell stories about them. Even if they are cute, funny stories – they don’t like to feel as if people are laughing at them. I get it.
For a while Bravo was not even letting me take his picture because he didn’t want me to put it here or “on Facebook.” I love to take pictures of my kids – they are my favourite subjects, BY FAR – so this was difficult for me. He has started letting me take photos again, with the promise that I will not share them. So I won’t.
And this has made me think about the stories that I share here and on social media.
When I started blogging, I knew early on that I would not share any stories about my kids that I thought might one day embarrass them, or prevent them from getting their dream job, should some CEO stumble upon my Instagram.
I never shared my kids’ “meltdowns” simply because I wouldn’t want my worst, most vulnerable moments documented. If there was a video of the time I bolted, stomping and crying, from the room when the cake I had just baked fell on the cooling rack in pile of crumbs, there wouldn’t be a hole deep enough for me to hide.
I don’t want my failures and challenges tweeted and shown on Facebook Live.
I wasn’t going to do that to my children, either.
I didn’t want to tell THEIR stories. I wanted to tell my story where it intersects with theirs. I think I did OK with that.
Now that my children are getting older, they are creating stories that don’t touch mine.
I have decided that motherhood will no longer be the main focus of my writing. I’m sure I will still write about my family in a general way – they are still the most important part of my world. But I will be avoiding specifics from now on – and sharing a lot fewer pics of Bravo, by request.
This is my story; they are getting to the age where they can tell their own. The time has come for me to step back and let them do that.
I will still be here, writing in this space. It’s been part of me after so long and I am not ready to let it go just yet. I will focus on some of my other loves more often; like food, and camping, and random geekiness. I will find my voice about things other than motherhood; I know it’s in there somewhere. I hope you will stick around.
So… how’ve YOU been?