The other day we were having a conversation about the foods that people and animals eat. I was telling Bravo that he liked meat so much that he was a carnivore. (Bacon is his favourite.) Alpha has never been a big meat fan, so we called him a herbivore. (I used to tell him he ate like a triceratops when he was a preschooler.)
“What’s Daddy?” he asked.
“He eats everything so let’s call him an omnivore.”
“What about you?”
David and I looked and one another before saying together, “Mommy’s a carbivore.”
Sure, I like my veggies. I confess to a torrid affair with a spinach salad on the side. I like a roast or a BBQ.
But my heart? It belongs to carbohydrates.
What is satisfying, comforting, and can often fill a silence with a companionable crunch? CARBS.
I could easily over-do it – especially when faced with a batch of fresh warm rolls, a stick of butter and a knife – hold me back. So I strive for balance; I get plenty of water and the other food groups to go along with my preferred method of caloric intake.
Carbivores might be rare these days, with all the low and no-carb diet plans. We’re like a fabled white rhino or the narwhal.
You might be a carbivore if:
1. Smooth, velvety mashed potatoes or bready, seasoned stuffing are you favourite parts of turkey dinner.
2. You maintain that pasta salad IS a salad, despite any campaign to prove otherwise.
3. You plan meals around available carbohydrate options. “Oooh – we still have that garlic bread. We should have some lasagna.”
4. Joey from Friends is your sandwich-loving soul mate. You, too, would save the sandwich.
5. When someone suggests burgers for supper you immediately think, “Mmm. What kind of buns will we have them on?”
6. You swear that dip was made for crackers, chips and pita bread. The occasional veggie may be dipped for variety and to be polite, but it is not preferred.
7. The crust is the most important part of the pizza. Toppings, schmoppings.
8. Your Instagram feed is 25% pictures of your kids, 75% images of bread, rolls, cookies and muffins. What?
And I get it – I am a person who has always been a little rounder. I’m a little, shall we say, fluffy. I’m sure my love of carbohydrates has contributed to that over the years. I could be thinner if I cut down on the carbs – or if even *gasp* cut them out drastically.
And yet I can’t imagine I would ever do that. Because food = carbs. Other stuff too – but mostly carbs. I would never have made it in the Jurassic period.
Are you a carbivore?